The backstory: Some of you may remember that I didn't nurse Ellie Kate. Well, I take that back. I nursed her for about 4 days before I gave up and began the journey if exclusively pumping for the next four months. Looking back, I now see that I probably could have done it, but I was an anxious, first time mom and had no idea what I was doing or what was normal. One thing I know for sure though, is that pumping is for the birds. It took twice as long to feed her and I had to be on that machine every three hours around the clock for 4 months!
So this time around, I knew I wanted to try harder to breastfeed. I really wanted to experience "the magic" that nursing moms talk about. Plus it's free and it helps make me skinny! I went to a couple of La Leche League meetings while I was pregnant (surprisingly non-threatening and supportive), I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, I watched youtube videos of proper latching, and mentally prepared myself for what was to come.
Starting Out: Then, nine days ago I had a baby. I did what the books said and put him skin to skin immediately after birth. He nursed great (from what I remember) that first time. While in the hospital, I began to remember the pain I felt with Ellie, because just like her, every time Foster would suck I felt a pinching searing pain.
Two cracked, bleeding nipples later we called the lactation consultant to our room. She showed me some things and told me some things, but I knew they werent helping. I've learned that with lactation consultants, they all have a different approach, so you may need to go through a few before you find the right fit. This lady was the female equivalent of Dr. Phil, complete with old-school advice like, "Darlin, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. "
So we went home to keep trying and my plan was just to wait it out, eventually it would get better. Foster actually nursed pretty well while my colostrum was feeding him. On day 3 my milk came in. Lest you think this is a good thing, let me remind you that on a non-pregnant day I'm a 38 DD. So when my milk arrived I jumped to a 38 GG. My skin was tight and shiny from being stretched so far, and each boob was so filled with lumps it felt like a sack of potatoes. I was in so much pain and could barely get him latched on due to the swelling. The Internets told me to do this ridiculous dance that consisted of taking a warm shower and hand expressing some milk, putting a hot wet cloth on my breast before the feeding, nurse him, then put a bag of frozen peas in my bra for 20 minutes after. Have you ever tried to hold a baby off until you can take a nice warm shower? Or try stuffing a bag of peas in your bra, one handed. It was not happening. I became a leaking, sore, crying mess. I basically cried on the couch all day until Josh and I agreed we would switch to formula later that night and take all the stress away. It just didnt seem worth it anymore.
In the middle of my crying fit, my sweet husband called a local lactation consultant and left a message telling her what was going on. When she said she could come to our house the next day, we decided we wouldnt give up until we at least talked to her. If she tried to help me and it wouldnt work, we were prepared to go straight to formula feeding.
The next day she came over and completely changed my life. She taught me how to shove (and I mean SHOVE!) him onto my gigantic nipples so that he was breast-feeding and not nipple-feeding. Homeboy likes to feel the nipple in his mouth so he is constantly trying to slide back off the breast and just chew. Ouch! We set up a place on the couch that I could always come to as my nursing spot. She showed me how to put the pillows every time, how to roll up a receiving blanket and use it to prop up my wrist, and how to hold him properly. After a quick assesment we realized that my milk supply is LIKE WHOA and every time he latches it's like he's being sprayed in the face with a fire hose. In 12 minutes he consumed 2.5 oz from me.
I'm happy to say that ever since she left our house that day, we have been doing great. I'm feeding from one side at a time now and I keep a bobby pin on the bra strap that I last used so that I can remember which side to use next. The left side is easy peasy and has no pain whatsoever. The right side is a little more challenging and just this morning I've started some very painful shooting pains and itching, so I'm thinking it's the beginnings of thrush. Good times.
What's going on now: Foster is nursing about every 3 hours around the clock. From start to finish (including burping and diaper change) it takes us about 30 minutes to complete the feeding. I'm using the cross-cradle hold for the left side and the football hold for the right. For now I have to use both hands to feed, one to hold his head and one to hoist my boob up off my belly.
How I'm feeling: For now I'm taking it one feeding at a time. Sometimes I look at him while he's nursing and I'm so proud that I'm actually doing this! I'm breastfeeding! Like, from my breasts! And other times I feel like all I ever do is change my maxi pad and nurse in an endless cycle all day long. I dont like the ticking time clock feeling that comes after a feeding, like I have to run around and do whatever I need to get done as fast as I can because OMG he's going to need to eat again soon!
I'm going to type up another breastfeeding update next week when he's two weeks old and I cant wait to see what kind of changes have come. Hopefully things will keep getting easier.
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